Alicia Dunams of course! 

I just heard through the grapevine that Alicia Dunams bestselling book, Goal Digger, was included as an exclusive free gift to celebrities at the 2008 Oscar ceremony. Not familiar with Oscar Swag? All you need to know is that most companies would give their eye teeth to be included!

I was lucky enough to be able to get a clip of Alicia actually talking about her Oscar nod and her book at a recent taping of Great Day Houston, http://www.khou.com/greatday/video.html?nvid=221795

Alicia is an expert in one particular type of guy, one that has proven to be elusive to many women: the millionaire male! Since she was dating them anyways, she thought why not figure out what makes them successful. With that being said, I urge you to click the link above and be amazed at what Alicia has to say. Better yet, why not get her book while supplies last?

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If you haven’t read Meghan Daum’s column in the LA Times and Chicago Tribune, then I think you’re missing out. I find her both fun and informative. Recently she wrote about an author that she both personally knows and likes to read, Lori Gottlieb.

Ms. Gottlieb, 40, has apparently given up all manner of hope in the pursuit of finding Mr. Right. She has come to the realization that marriage is not the 24/7 passion fest that Brides magazine would have you believe, but merely “a mundane and often boring non-profit business.” I believe any divorcee giving up half of their marital assets would tend to agree!

Gottlieb’s article, titled ”Marry him!”, has gotten all manner of press (and grief) for admitting that she and many other 30 something women are panicked and sometimes desperate to have it all: baby, perfect husband, and the proverbial white picket fence.

Like Daum and Gottlieb, I to have met many 20 and 30 something women in search of that perfect man. While many of these women aren’t as panicked as Gottlieb would have us believe, they do lament the amount of time it is taking them in the pursuit of their dream. They also lament the fact that most of the guys that they meet are in pursuit of their own dream: Ms. Right Now.

I’ll have more to say on this on my next post so please stay tuned!

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Patti Stanger, founder of The Millionaire’s Club, is a master at finding potential mates for millionaire men across the country and across the globe. The club has outlets in California, New York, Florida, and now the UK. The Millionaires Club can even now be seen on Bravo cable television.

When I first saw the commercial for the show, I thought there was no way that I would like a show about a dating service. I’m long past that stage of my life and am now happily married for almost 15 years. I sat down to watch the show with a good deal of cynicism. Yet, I could not help but be riveted as Patti helped men and women connect. It’s obvious that Patti really cares about her clients and the women that would be their wives. She makes it very clear to the men that The Millionaire’s Club is not a place for these guys to get laid. She also makes it clear that the women should be there to find love and not a open check book. The men and women also have to follow strict club rules or risk getting kicked out.

The fact that there are now over 10,000 beautiful women in Patti’s club, speaks loudly of its success.

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Eric G. Wilson says so in his new book Against Happiness: In Praise of Melancholy (Sarah Crichton Books/FSG). He even goes as far to say that the pursuit of happiness is dangerous and boring.

 Wilson, an English professor at Wake Forest University, says that if you run away from your sorrow you’ll cut yourself off from a full life. By his own admission his book is meant to be a challenge to what he calls America’s addiction to happiness.

Wilson goes onto say that life is fuller when extreme opposites like joy and sorrow fight for your mind. On the surface he seems right on. For instance there would be no ying without the yang. Where would chocolate be without vanilla ice cream? Want more proof? Consider these: Sonny and Cher; Peaches and Cream; Democrats and Republicans; hot and cold; soft and hard; life and death.

For Wilson, true happiness can only come to those that suffer. In other words, if you don’t challenge your everyday thinking, if you don’t question the status quo, your life will stagnate. You’ll be stuck, going nowhere, mired in a sea of sameness. You’ll be happy on the outside but miserable on the inside knowing that your happiness isn’t true happiness, but merely a facade.

Put in these terms, you can’t help but want to live the fullest life possible.

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I’m nearly done reading Christine Comaford-Lynch’s book Rules For Renegades from McGraw Hill publishers. All I’ve got to say is WOW!

If you had told me that a book by an avowed computer geek, Buddhist monk, and cult follower would have me riveted to my couch, I would have told you that you were crazy. Yet, that’s exactly what Comaford Lynch’s book is all about and so much more. Did I tell you she’s also a multi-millionaire?

Having worked 80 hour week after 80 hour week, Comaford-Lynch knew exactly what it took to succeed in business. She describes companies that she both created and worked for. She talks about being ready for any opportunity that might come your way. She tells you to realize that everything is an illusion, so why not choose one that empowers as opposed to devours. She also gives you several steps to the perfect business plan and then gives more steps on how to execute that business plan.

With all her success, it was the life part of the equation that had eluded her for so long. She speaks of following various cults (including Microsoft) only to feel empty and dejected. She talks about dating billionaires like Larry Ellison and Bill Gates only to feel empty and un-loved. Ultimately, she comes to the conclusion that she was the CEO of her life and that she was the only one that could steer it in the right direction.

I believe Rules for Renegades is a must read whether your looking to start a business, get promoted or even jumpstart your love life.

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I was recently reminded of one of the differences between how men and women handle workplace conflict. A friend of mine was thinking of quitting her job because of a co-worker’s obnoxious and insulting behavior towards her and others. I asked her exactly what the problem was. My friend described how anytime her co-worker came by, she would berate and belittle my friend in front of their customers.

Amazingly, my friend kept it professional, never telling the nut off or questioning the nut’s sanity. She simply asked her to take it outside and avoid letting their customers see any kind of dissension. She tried to convince her that customers would be very turned off and might not want to come back. I think my friend is a true saint.

My friend was extremely emotional about this and wanted out. She felt that she was somehow personally at fault, as if a crazy person’s opinion mattered. The boss didn’t have the courage to deal with the situation and would rather leave it alone, ignoring the crisis. Needless to say, my friend was despondent and without any kind of support.

She came to me because I had seen it all in corporate America and would at least offer an honest, unvarnished opinion. Based on her description, I quickly came to the conclusion that the nut was out of control and was losing any grip on reality. In a guy’s world, this kind of jerk would be shunned and ignored. Unlike my friend, most men would not internalize this nut job’s opinion of them. We would quickly identify this lady as a nut and then compartmentalize whatever silly things sge might say. Our thoughts about her would have a Do Not Disturb Sign  on them. We might even go as far to feel sorry for her, but we would not blame ourselves for this person’s ridiculous actions.

In this way, guys can compartmentalize problems and then let them roll off our shoulders.

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It’s tax time once again and my wife and I decided to gather our kids, instead of our receipts, so we could go to the Chicago Field Museum of Natural History. Our kids, Hannah and Alan, ages 7 and 4, had only been there once before.

That last time we went, the kids didn’t like The Field as much as they liked the other Chicago museums like The Museum of Science and Industry, The Shedd, and The Chicago Children’s Museum. These other museums are much  more kid friendly than they used to be. Kids are encouraged to be kids, ask questions and play their little hearts out. The Field, however, was a classic style museum filled with lots of stuffed and scary dead things like mummies and dinosaurs. There was no interactive play area that the other more modern museums had adopted.

In some ways The Field was just as dark and dank as it was when my wife and I were kids! The Field was a museum’s museum. There were mile long hallways that lead to even longer hallways each as boring as the next. The exhibits were old and scary looking. If you got tired while walking there was no place to sit. If you got hungry there was no place to eat. You could get down three flights of stairs to a basement where you might find a coffee machine. While a wonderful place to explore our world, it was not kid friendly.

Today, the Field has done a complete 360. While the long hallways are still there, there are now actual couches strategically placed throughout the building where you and your family can rest. There’s the outstanding Corner Bakery restaurant serving top notch breakfast, lunch and dinner. The actual exhibits are now much more interactive. I got to touch a 2 billion year old fossil! Last but not least, they actually added an interactive children’s play area called The Play Lab. Our kids played there (without incident) for nearly three hours!

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What if you could turn back the clock? What if you could be in the very best shape of your life? What if you could recover three to four times faster from injury? What if all it took was a an injection or two of a naturally occurring hormone? Would you  take the injections even though scientists know little of what it will do to the human body, good or bad?

I’ve been fascinated lately watching the congressional hearings into alleged steroid abuse by Major League Baseball players. Just as much as any other guy, I have cheered my sports heroes on as they crushed record after record. During the record breaking year featuring Sammy Sosa and Mark Mcguire, I was privileged to have watched Sosa crush the ball a few times live at Wrigley Field. Neither Sosa nor Mcguire are accused of doing any thing illegal, but McGuire has admitted to using substances that are now banned by MLB. They are essentially free of any charges.

Roger Clemens may not be so lucky. It’s recently come to light that Roger Clemens, future Hall of Fame Major League Baseball player may have not only taken HGH but also lied about it in front of Congress. What’s even more astonishing is the allegation that Clemens wife was also injected with HGH in order to get in shape for her up coming Sports Illustrated photo shoot. If true, it’s not clear who insisted on the illegal injections. Did Clemens want it for his wife or did his wife insist on it in order to look her best for the SI photo shoot? I have yet to see the pictures but I’ve been told that she’s rather buff and in great shape.

The drugs allegedy abused include various steroids and a naturally ocurring hormone called Human Growth Hormone otherwise known as HGH. Very little is known outside of test tubes and lab mice as to what these drugs can do, good or bad. Either way, you can’t get them legally without a doctors permission. Clemens denies that he used any illegal drugs. His former trainer and friends are claiming otherwise.

I have a new proposal for Clemens, Congress and his accusers: How about you all lighten up! What you all need is a little injection of my special version HGH otherwise known as Humor Growth Hormone.

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Valentine’s Day has always been a special day for my wife and me.  Almost 18 years ago to the day she sent me an anonymous valentine. The amazing thing was that I had no idea who it was from! It said something like: Roses are Red, Violets are Blue…I really like you! Most of the letter was not written but cut out from women’s beauty magazines. Either someone had kidnapped a loved one or I was going to be the uni-bomber’s next victim!

Ransom note, valentine, or exploding letter, I was flattered. This was my first  secret admirer and I couldn’t have been happier. At the time I was a shy guy from an all guys Catholic high school so I was both excited and flattered to have gotten any kind of a letter much less a  love letter.

As Valentine’s Day was nearly over, I had to act quickly to narrow down the field. The college we went to was rather small at only 900 students, half of which were girls. I interacted with mainly freshmen and sophomores so I could narrow it down to say 250 potential dates. My so called social life consisted of the library and the the swim team. From there I quickly narrowed it to the girls I interacted with the most at the library and on the swim team.

So I went to the library and kept an eye out for anything unusual. I had some polite conversations with a few co-eds but nothing seemed right. I was losing hope when in walked a smiling and gregarious co-ed who would become my wife only four years later.

Our relationship started that day with nothing but a thoughtful gesture and a love note. To this day my wife still uses all those same qualities that first attracted me. Today she has has two beautiful children and a whole classroom of kids that love her for the very same qualities I found in her nearly twenty years ago.

It’s no wonder I consider myself one of the luckiest guys in the world.

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My wife and I met some 18 years ago during my freshman year in college. She was a sophomore and we were both on the swim team. We got to know and like each other gradually throughout the swim season. We didn’t date for the first four months but went to dinner on a regular basis with the rest of the swim team. She was an absolute joy to be around and everybody loved to hear her wacky stories. Her zest for life was contagious and I gradually fell under her spell. Her beauty and bubbly personality were apparent to everyone and I was hooked.

Our conversations would continue at the school library where my suitemates and I were usually sequestered studying and goofing off. It was always amusing to me that she never studied while she was there. More than once we had to be shooshed by other library goers. I would only find out later that she was only there to see me. She was stalking me! Surprisingly, my future wife, a future teacher no less, wasn’t much of a library person.

So the library of all places turned out to be an incredibly fun place to be. I loved making her laugh out loud and she loved to laugh. My wife sacrificed her reputation as a non-nerd to come and see me. I felt like I could be myself around her and she felt the same. Needless to say, she was making quite the impression on me. 

Of course, the real sparks didn’t fly until Valentine’s Day. I’ll fill you in on the next post, so stay tuned.

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