Last week I took Hannah and Alan to the library to see a puppet show. The library we went to was huge. Its relationship section was equally as huge so I had to check it out. Among the many tomes was Dating, Mating and Manhandling by Lauren Frances, Ph. Double D. The bright color and title made it stand out amongst the rest. Of course, I try never to judge a book by its cover, so I read the introduction and was summarily hooked.

Unlike many books on the subject, Frances’ book is fun and fast on its (bird) feet. For instance on the subject of Peckerheads (jerkoffs) she writes: “These men are like large boys zipped into man suits. The Peckerhead is selfishly self-involved, and under the mistaken impression that women, relationships and the entire world at large are simply there for their pleasure. He will denature a forest preserve and quickly strip-mine your heart”

Frances book goes beyond entertainment by providing scripts for handling those tough conversations you might have with your guy like the “talk” or his permanent dismissal.

I disagree on only some minor points. She points out that that while guys can be very dog like (dirty dogs, lying dogs, etc), they are not loyal like your average poodle is. I suppose I can see the comparison but feel the need to point out that most domesticated dogs are neutered! Frances also quotes Pat Allen as saying that if a guy does not call you, you can wait 8 weeks for him to do so. 8 weeks! If a guy hasn’t called you in 8 weeks then either he has no plans for you as a couple or he can’t cope with you and him as a couple. Either way, dump him.

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My wife and I just sold the first house we ever bought. Like most parts of the country, Chicago has seen a decrease in home values. While we were happy to move on, it was a bittersweet way to say good bye. It took us the better part of the year to find someone to buy it and the selling price was not as high as we would have hoped. I wasn’t surprised by any of this, but it was still hard on my wife to let go for what she though was so little.  

It’s difficult to see something you put so much time, money, and energy into, leave your life forever. Ideally, you’d be paid top dollar for what’s leaving your life considering all the blood sweat and tears that went into it!

Of course, the reality is that we all put a lot into our houses, relationships, marriages, careers and businesses only to see them sometimes crash and burn. The Law of Averages states that that which goes up must eventually come down. For example, while most relationships start out with unbound passion and lust, reality eventually sets in and all that’s left is love or the lack there of. If there’s no love foundation, the couple ceases to be a couple that they once were.

Without love, there is nothing. You can see this in 90% of celebrity marriages. They start out with plenty of passion and lust only to end up divorced three years or even just three months later.

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I just had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. JoAnne White this week and I was blown away by her both her insight and her success in helping people realize the very best relationships.  On the call we were able to discuss two of her books: HOW TO LOVE: SECRETS TO LASTING RELATIONSHIPS and Sense Your Way to Life Satisfaction. Each book is jam packed with advice and practical exercises to get you, your relationships and your life to where you want them to be.

Dr. White has helped thousands of men, women and couples improve their relationships through her counseling and books. She has been featured on NBC television, CN8, numerous radio programs, www.Match.com, and WebMD. She has been so well received that she has become known as the “Success Doc”

When I asked her what the keys to her success were, she did not hesitate. From the get go, Dr. White acknowledges the differences between men and women and looks for the positives. She believes that just because we are so different doesn’t mean that we can’t communicate in a more loving and thoughtful way.

If you can’t wait to hear the interview, I suggest you look Dr. White up at www.DocWhite.org or call 1-877-Doc-White.

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Update: We just moved! My wife and I have found the perfect neighborhood to live in. The problem is that we have yet to find the right house! I’ll give you an update later this week. In the mean time, enjoy my latest post.

Having a son and a daughter, it’s easy to see the differences between males and females. It didn’t take my wife and I long to see that boys are 180 degrees different from girls. Is this a gross generalization? I think not based on every mom I have ever talked to. They all seem to have the same story: boys are “rambunctious”; girls are sugar and spice.

This played out as I compared my daughter’s pre-school experience to that of my son’s. Hannah enjoyed all the quite time, the art work, the seat work, and the story time. She really excelled. Three years later, my son, Al, had a brutal time sitting still for his seat work. The reports back from his teacher were not encouraging as he had a hard time sitting down.

Al wanted “action”. He wanted to play. He wanted to wrestle. The last thing  on his mind was sitting still.

His teacher grew concerned as Al started play fighting with imaginary swords. His mother and I did the same as we clamped down on his fighting and sword play. We instituted more rules. His teacher was also much more vigilant to any misbehavior.

It was tough for him but he changed his behavior and now enjoys his time at pre-school even more.

My daughter functioned just fine within the rules. My question is: Do guys need more rules?

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So says Stephany Alexander, owner and CEO of www.womansavers.com and author of Sex, Lies and the Internet: A Survival Guide for Online Dating. I had the extreme pleasure of interviewing her for my CD of the month club where I spend 45-60 minutes speaking to the very best experts in all things having to do with success and relationships.

Stephany has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Esquire Magazine, NY Times, USA Today and appeared on E!, Fox, and Fox Business.

Stephany came about her expertise through trial and error. She had the worst luck dating losers, abusers and various other kinds of jerks and eventually came to the conclusion that there had to be a better way. She felt that if she were going out to eat she would read the Zagat Survey so why not do the same with potential suitors? Before you go see a movie you might ask a friend about it or see what Ebert & Roeper had to say about it. So again why not do the same thing in the dating arena?

Stephany has even brought a MD and a psychotherapist to her website so that she can help woman get through an abusive relationship and move on with their lives as fully healed as possible.

Ultimately, Stephany has a built an incredible community of women dedicated to making their lives and their relationships as safe, loving and rewarding as possible. Before you date again, I strongly suggest you check it out today.

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