Until I saw this video from Your Tango, I hadn’t given much thought to chivalry.
I grew up watching my dad and uncles opening up doors for the women in their lives. In fact, it didn’t have to be a woman they knew for them to open the door. It was part of being a gentleman.
My parents were taught etiquette in school. Some schools had classes on how to set tables and how to act at social events. They even had classes on cooking and sewing for women.
Having gone to a Catholic school, I did have a class on marriage titled appropriately enough: Marriage. The class was not about dating or how to ask a beautiful young lady out. It was sadly only about the practicalities of planning a wedding and how the church fit in with your marriage plans.
All well and good but I always felt like there was something missing. Dating for most of us comes before marriage yet there wasn’t a class in college or high school that dealt with this.
Most in the United States are not put into arranged marriages. For better or worse we are all on our own having to make tough dating decisions. This is not for the faint of heart as hearts are broken and relationships ruined.
As always I say it’s best to be prepared for whatever life and love will throw at you!
Dating and sex appeal would seem to be the last thing scientists would be researching but luckily for us they’re still trying to unlock the mysteries of love.
So what makes a guy attracted to one girl and not the other? Scientists think they have the answer in two things. First, men like a thinner woman and second they like a seductive woman.
Hold the presses!
Who would have thought?
Evolutionary biologists would say that this is no big surprise. A seductive and thin woman would be one that’s less likely pregnant and more likely ovulating. These are all cues to the male brain to have sex! Woman’s waist lines even get skinnier when they ovulate signaling the male brain that she’s ready to get pregnant.
The male brain has to be ready for these cues as that’s when he’s most likely to get his mate pregnant or so goes what some scientists see as sex appeal.
As far as how this might help you when you’re out dating? I would say that you should be alert to your body how you feel and how your body feels when your with a man. Evaluate it on a week by week basis. In this way you can get in better touch with you and your man’s feelings and make your relationship better.
Great video on female jealousy from Your Tango with one small criticism. That being that I believe jealousy is something to not take lightly. Whether yours or his, I say you shouldn’t hide from jealousy and you should confront your feelings and deal with them as soon as you can.
In the video they give the example of a woman who is jealous of all the beautiful women the guy she’s dating is surrounded by. The video voice over says to not fret and to just let go.
I agree and I disagree. I agree that there’s nothing you can really do except love and respect the man your dating but I also know that numbers never lie.
What numbers am I speaking of?
Well, the numbers behind the % of male college professors that divorce. The numbers say that they are far more likely to divorce than men in other professions. Why might that be? It might be that they are surrounded by a bevy of beauties at their reproductive peak.
My point is simple. Acknowledge your feelings and realize that they are real and justified. Also respect the fact that you and the guy you are dating are human and that’s OK.
Success in life and love will always come down to choice. The choices we make now should pay off in the future. That future may be months from now or years from now.
Men chase and women choose. These would seem to be at odds with each other yet once men and women come together in marriage, they find themselves on the same path. Sometimes that path is paved in gold and other times it’s riddled with the potholes of bad choices.
Whom you choose to go out dating will effect you in both seen and unforeseen ways.
It is said that who you are is a 50/50 combination of your genetics and the people you choose to hang around with. I see the first 50% as your parents giving you the tools with which to succeed, i.e. your body and mind, and the last 50% is how you go about using those tools.
In the end, your success or lack there of is always a choice.
Dating successfully is a choice.
Loving the right person and being loved is a choice.
Communicating with the best of intentions is a choice.
Dating and making the right life choices ultimately doesn’t have to be so hard!
I ask this because my neighbor and I were talking about our water situation. The situation being that he and I expected our water to come from Lake Michigan when in fact it comes from a community well. The paperwork for his house even states that he’s supposed to get the freshest and cleanest water on earth, Lake Michigan water.
Yet, we both find ourselves without that awesome water and we are profoundly disappointed. While I’m mad about the situation, he is raving mad and refuses to drink from his faucet. For my money, I went out and bought a filter.
Do you set clear and attainable expectations for your dates? In other words, do you have a plan?
While I always maintain that dating doesn’t have to be hard, I do realize that some dates can go horribly bad.
Dating will be far easier when you go on them with clear expectations and a plan. If the guy turns out be fresh out of the insane asylum, is there a friend you can call to meet you? Do you have an exit strategy while dating? Do you have expectations of the men you are dating?
It’s my position that you should have clear expectations of everything and in this way you’ll never be disappointed in the outcomes.
This is probably the best description of what good communication is supposed to be like that I’ve ever seen. Dan hit it out of the ball park when he described it as being less about words and more about how you come across.
So how do we all come across as human beings?
We make gestures. For instance, our hands fly around when many of us talk.
We blush. What could be a better indication of embarrassment?
We use inflection in our voice. Sarcasm anybody?
Words end up accounting for no more than 10% of meaningful, thoughtful communication, yet all of today’s communication is only about words. From texting to emailing, no one can escape the effects of these poor means of communicating.
Technology has become so ubiquitous that grown adults have to be told not to text or tweet while dating or watching a movie!
In the end technology will make dating and relating far more difficult than it needs to be so I say get off the technology train and unplug.
Long distance relationships are never easy. Whether dating or married, communication from thousands of miles away can be challenging. Luckily, there are several new ways to keep the lines of communication open so that couples can remain close and in love.
God knows I’ve railed against how destructive emailing and texting can be to dating, mating and relating with one exception: The long distance relationship. That’s right. Dating from far, far away can be done with the use of high tech. Sprinkle in some phones calls, a video or two posted to YouTube and couples can stay connected like never before from so far away.
Dating…even long distance dating doesn’t have to be so hard!
Paris Hilton is available for your dating pleasure!
As a public service to all singles, I thought I’d let you know that Paris Hilton has broken up with her latest boyfriend what’s his name. I’m not sure how what’s his name is doing but it’s safe to say that he’s worse off for a number of different reasons many of them medical…but I digress.
Paris of course is far better off according to her family. Her Aunt and her mom have all weighed in to say what a loser the poor guy was and how better life will be for Paris now that she can go dating again.
Paris’s family was adamant that Paris needs to be dating someone that can live in her large shadow and stay back while Paris takes in the spotlight. She casts a huge shadow and her lifestyle is not for the faint of heart no doubt.
My question is how many men in Hollywood and the circles that Hilton travels in could stay in her shadow?
As if life, love and dating wasn’t hard enough. John and Kate Plus 8 shows us all what happens when a relationship goes bad on national TV.
What if a camera followed you while dating and mating? OK maybe not the mating, but definitely the dating. What if you screwed up while dating? What if your man cheated on you? What would you do?
We’ve seen what John and Kate did. They made lots of money as did their sponsors and cable TV network.
You on the other hand barely have enough money for dating much less what John and Kate do so I suppose you have to deal with it like a responsible adult!
What do you think John and Kate should do? Should they save their marriage? Should they end it and start dating other people? Comment and let me and the world know!
Greenwald is an expert on helping women discover what they are doing to make guys run away. Dating has never been easy, but Greenwald is able to cut through the dating challenges to find out what really ales daters.
It has always been my contention that dating doesn’t have to be that hard if you just take a step back and analyze what you could do better.
In this clip, Greenwald advises women dating and looking to mate that they should back off the marriage throttle a wee bit and be more feminine women. In this day and age, women will go out dating with their business suit still attached to their body as if that’s all they had to wear. Greenwald says that women should lose the suit, lose the work like attitude and not treat dating like just another task to be accomplished.
For me, it’s simple. If you want the guy to love and adore the amazing and beautiful woman that you are than act like it!
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Jun 30, 2009 
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chivalry, dating, dating advice, dating online, marriage, online dating