Everyone has dating and relationship challenges. Everyone. I believe it’s those who make no small plans that fare the best when meeting life’s challenges. Angie, as interviewed by SkyJohn is a prime example of this success mindset.

Angie has a plan for dating. She knows exactly what she wants when dating and she knows how to get it.

While she sees challenges, she acknowledges them, and moves on. She has a positive attitude about life and because of this exudes beauty and confidence. She’ll no doubt meet the man of her dreams someday and it’s all because of the way she thinks, nothing more, nothing less.

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Great stuff but listen carefully to what these men are saying. These guys are saying they want you to be aggressive without being critical. They want you to take charge without being bossy. They want you to be quite yet firm in what you want.

What gives?

Are men bi-polar? Do they have personalities disorders? Are they plain too crazy for dating?

I think I have an answer to this dating dilemma!

The answer comes in one word: receptivity. Men and their brains are looking at your receptivity to sex constantly. The reason being simple. Women are at their most receptive to sex when they ovulate. The brains of men are built to look for signs of desire. The more signs we see, the better we feel because we know that sex is more likely. This is after all the reason that we are all here plain and simple.

When you ovulate you show physical changes in your appearance. For instance, your skin turns darker and your waist gets thinner. A recent study confirmed what men want in women: thin and seductive because these are sign to the male brain that you’re ready to mate.

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Yesterday was the first official week of having Maryanne Comaroto guest blog on Crack the Dating Code. Maryanne was my first choice and I wanted to use this post to explain why I chose her above and beyond everyone else.

First, Maryanne comes with loads and loads of real world experience. She’s been in the trenches dating and now has been married to the love of her life for many years. She’s also been having heartfelt conversations with men and women for over 20 years covering various areas of their lives. She’s had her heart broken and come back from it. In short, Maryanne is just like you!

Yesterday’s post is the epitome of Maryanne’s philosophy which puts you in the driver’s seat of the rest of your dating life. You are in control of your outcomes. No man and no woman can steer that car. Your life is an open road full of adventure. All you have to do is drive!

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Editor’s Note: I’ve been lucky enough to get, Maryanne Comaroto, to guest blog once a week for the next ten weeks! What follows is pure dating and relationship gold that’s been mined from the deep and fertile depths of Maryanne’s rich experience.

OK, I said it. Your dating life, your relationship doesn’t HAVE to be a struggle! But it might help to ask some basic questions before you jumped into a dating scenario with someone. So humor me for a minute!

When do you want to find out that the pilot flying your plane has no license—or, worse, does not know how to fly—before or after the flight?

When do you want to know the person performing open-heart surgery on you has never been to medical school, or is drunk—before or after the operation?

How about your tax person or phlebotomist—before or after you suffer the consequences of their ineptitude?

And when would you want to know you spent four years in school only to find out you had been scammed, that the organization was not accredited and your investment and dream is gone—before or after you invested your valuable time into making your dreams for the future come true?

Do these seem ridiculous questions? Of course they do. No more ridiculous, however, than dating someone who has no tools or relationship skills! Unless you want to find out the person you want to be in a relationship/are about to have sex with is already married, has two children and is never going to leave their family. Or the person you have been dating is a practicing drug addict and has recently been arrested for assault and battery. Or the person who has just told you they never want to be without you has said the same thing to five other people, or has an STD. Or ___ (insert some really sad/tragic outcome here).

I have definitely been a victim of low self-esteem – and many of these sad and tragic dating scenarios – and a believer in Happily Ever After, but eventually this thinking and belief system caught up with me. My dating and relationship patterns were clear to everyone but me; I only knew I was unhappy, had tried everything I knew to make my relationships work (the focus of my life) by being more accommodating, prettier, sexier, indifferent, hard to get, or aggressive. Eventually, out of frustration, I actually started not to care at all. After my own very spectacular awakening to the “truth” of the way things are (on the heels of a series of disappointments and Unhappily Ever After relationships), I got down on my knees and prayed to whatever God, anything that would listen, this prayer:

Please show me the way!

Yes, relationship—or lack of it, really—brought me to my knees. My heart was broken (more than once) and fragile, and I was soul-sick and lost, despite all appearances. I didn’t know what was wrong or what to do, so I surrendered and prayed. That very day my life changed dramatically, forever. It was the end of suffering as I knew it. Someone or something outside myself would never again dictate my fate or happiness.

I have never suffered since.

I feel deeply, of course, my heart is open. Yet my method allows me a daily opportunity to practice being internally referenced, to reach for the tools I have over these years turned into skills that have served me well. With vigilance and passion I cling to the truth of these teachings I was given, as I know the quality of my well-being and life depends on them! Along the way I have been given the privilege and honor of sharing these profound tools and truths with you.

If you love and care about yourself, and believe every moment of your life is precious, you will not consider wasting one moment hoping to find out, some day or down the road the answer to any such critical questions you face in your dating life! And that sooner, rather than later. I am going to assume you are interested, as I have been these many years working in the personal development industry, in what it takes to create success anywhere in life.

I have come to find these key ingredients to success: Know who you are and what you want, have a solid plan, acquire the necessary tools and turn them into skills. Cultivating adequate discipline, desire and commitment is also necessary to turn your heart’s desires, the relationship of your dreams, into reality! Only you hardly, if ever, hear that! Most of us learn or observe this dating and relationship scenario: you meet someone, you fall in love (i.e. your heart races, knees go weak, can’t stop thinking of the person) and you live happily ever after. Well in REAL life, (as opposed to reel life) this usually amounts to disappointment, loss, pain and shutting down our hearts after we repeat this pattern a few times: Look at marriage statistics and the rise in people living single lives. Not having a plan or skills is an increasingly poor choice of a way to attract and create a healthy, fulfilling, sustainable relationship.

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Dating for most guys is challenging enough and now you want us to dance?

Dancing takes many things that as guys we think we lack: balance, coordination and grace. Naturally, we just don’t see the need to let the world know that we lack in all of these areas. Besides, you’re not in love with the ballerina in us so why should we dance?

Well, this video gives great reasons like it will bring you and your lover closer while you’re dating. It should help you communicate better and I believe it will go a long way towards seeing how compatible the both of you are.

My wife and I took ballroom dancing before our wedding and while my wife passed, I had two left feet. With that being said, my future wife saw that I could at least try to work with her on something I found boring and difficult. The fact of the matter is that your marriage could be challenged by many a boring and difficult thing so why not get training at it early?

The other thing about dancing is that it makes for great dating. Getting a chance to sweep my future wife off her feet was fun and affordable. It didn’t involve sitting through a movie that one of us didn’t like nor lots of alcohol.

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Bill Clinton sex jokes aside, what does intercourse mean? If you polled 100 men and women about sex, you’d probably get 100 different answers. To me, sex is something intimate to be shared between two people in love. But that’s not the case with everybody.

Maybe the larger question should be what does it mean to you?

I think what Dan and Jennifer are trying to say here is that love, sex, and dating mean different things to different people. I believe it’s best to find out your values as soon as possible and share them with your lover as soon as you feel it’s right.

In this way, dating and mating will lead to great relating and you’ll be better for it.

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Apparently it does…to some.

I think what this post reveals is twofold. First, looks can be just as important to women as they are to men and second, it’s better to face this fact as quickly as possible.

This will make your dating life much much easier and respect your partners need to know.

Take responsibility for how you feel and life and dating will get much easier!

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You always hear from experts that men love a good mystery. But what exactly is that mystery? Do we want to know your sign? Do we want to know who you’ve been dating? Do we want to know what you had for dinner? Sadly, most experts will never go farther than this in explaining this enigma.

So then what is this big mystery about women that we men have to know?

It’s my belief that it’s what you look like naked plain and simple. Not to be crass but that’s one of the big things on our mind when we begin dating you. My book explains it better but suffice to say, the minds of men are programmed to look for many things when selecting a mate. One of the first is your physicality.

So what to do while dating? How might you use this for optimal dating experiences?

I would say that it’s best to reveal slowly. Cover up as much as humanly possible when you first meet. As you see things progressing then slowly but surely show your assets off.

Hope this helps!

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Mom Logic is a great place for moms seeking good mom advice. It also happens to be great dating advice portal where your many dating questions can be answered.

As if being a single mom is hard enough, what happens when you fall hard for a new guy you’re dating? You’ve got big time responsibilities in that you have kids, pets and plenty of bills and now you’re in love.

What to do?

I’d say sit back, take a deep breath and enjoy the moment. True love can be hard to come by so why not just appreciate what you’ve got?

Hopefully you know by now the kind of life you want. Hopefully you’ve envisioned a day when true love would come back into your life and hopefully you know what to do.

If you haven’t yet visualized your best future then why not do it now? Your life is waiting!

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What are your dating deal breakers?

Is it the guy’s appearance?

Is it his lack of tact?

Is it his smell?

Or is it the way he talks? Do you like talkers or do you prefer the quite types?

Does he have to drive up in any car ending in an “i” or does a late model Olds turn you on?

Dating the way you want is all up to you. The choice in the how and who of dating is all up to you.

Dating doesn’t have to be so hard!

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