My wife and I had the misfortune of sitting next to some obnoxious single women at a local eatery.

They were cougars dressed in hockey jerseys cheering on their favorite team.

Their foul language was a definite clue to their relationship status: single cougar desperate for attention. (SCDA)

I want to be very clear here. Obnoxious behavior is no way shape or form a way to a lasting, loving relationship! It speaks of dating desperation and is a huge turn off when dating men.

While bad behavior may attract men in the short run, it will turn them off in the near term. (these women were able to snag a man to sit with them after yelling at him)

Popularity: 100% [?]

I have to admit that I did watch ABC’s The Bachelor when it first came out. There was a certain innocence about dating shows like The Bachelor that was appealing to both me and my wife. The Bachelor also gave us the opportunity to talk about our own relationship and what we could do to improve upon it.

That was then and this is now:

Dating shows are defined now by the characters (or lack there of) on them. Their back stories and scandals titillate like no others. We watch not to see love blossom but to see scandals erupt.

I now feel a little dirty watching these shows and don’t know what to think.

What do you think?

Popularity: 17% [?]

This concludes from yesterday’s dating diamond. Enjoy!

I wrote Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers, instead, hoping to inspire an alternate impulse—to pause (not paws). To globally build our collective conscious imperative to delay our gratification, for the sake of man (and woman) kind. To build our global muscle that has atrophied in the wake of our fast-food mentality, and resurrect the ultimate truth that there is freedom in discipline, that the mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master. To use that 2% for everything it’s worth so that maybe someday, sooner rather than later, our priorities will change and we will value and hold in unison that which is naturally sacred before we all cross the point of no return.

But before we race off to transform ourselves, just because we can, let’s make an important distinction between humans and primates. While there may be only a 2% genetic difference between monkeys and men, it is our ability to consider whether or not we ever “drop our drawers” which makes all the difference in the world. That said, we all need role models from time to time; why not an ape or an aboriginal? So let’s not look a gift horse (or any other animal, tribe, or alien) in the mouth, and take good relationship modeling where we can get it! If there is something to be learned from our furry or our scantily clad friends, if they can help us better determine optimal drawer droppage in this time/space continuum, far be it for me to stand in the way of such monkey business!

Popularity: 14% [?]

Who exactly are you dating? Is he a big hairy ape or will he be the man of your dreams. Answers to this conundrum and many more in this dating diamond from Maryanne Comaroto.

Listener Question: Tell me, why does dropping one’s drawers have to be the line of demarcation? Is that really the point of no return? If so, then why do you consider it as such? My studies of aboriginal Polynesian societies have led me to delve into customs of touching in other nearly nude societies, including those of primates, with whom we share 98% of our DNA. These societies have no drawers to drop, yet raised peaceful, sexually wise kids.

Maryanne Answer: Good question: what about dropping one’s drawers creates such a hard line?

I believe it was Ted Bundy, one of the most notorious Mr. Wrongs of our time, who said, as long as we have pornography men will continue to victimize and harm women. This might explain why we do not live in a naked, leaf-eating, peaceful, sexually wise culture. IT’S NOT SAFE FOR WOMEN—yet. And while the Aboriginals may be sexually more evolved, they currently do not have access to all our forms of soul-sucking, spirit-killing, de-humanizing programming.

In the meantime, I realized if we put that 2% of genetic difference to work we might be able to counter the overwhelming amount of suffering men and women experience in relationship. I saw a corollary between pausing prior to drawer droppage to consider, at length, its consequences, and the aforementioned suffering. That if we just waited a little longer before we succumb to this impulse, we had a greater likelihood of creating healthy, fulfilling, sustainable relationship. Somehow, it doesn’t seem likely the FDA will attach a human sexuality instruction manual to our bodies that reads like a prescription warning label. “WARNING, may be HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH if taken internally. Do not drink ALCOHOL while handling, may cause heart palpitations, intense longing, dizziness, trouble concentrating, financial hemorrhaging, loss of memory, pregnancy and, in some cases, death. Consult your doctor if any of these symptoms persist.”

Popularity: 13% [?]

From the bizarro world of the extremely rich comes this guy!

Straight from from that Monopoly game in your closet, comes a rich guy that wants to buy a date.

No longer will real estate or Microsoft do for his portfolio!

Rich men are betting on love!

Popularity: 7% [?]

How do you know when you are dating a jealous man and what are the signs to look for?

If you’re dating a man, then you are then dating a jealous man. Most of the time you will see no signs. Man by his very nature is jealous. It’s in his genes, which is to say he is programmed to be jealous. He can try to hide it and show no signs of it, but this can only last for so long.

The trick is to get to it early before you get married just like this couple is doing. Counseling is probably the only cure.

Popularity: 33% [?]

Jason Davis, AKA Gummi Bear, has lit up the dating scene once again!

The question is can he find true love given his eccentric ways?

Would you be caught dead dating a guy like him?

Can love transcend whatever he’s afflicted with?

Popularity: 8% [?]

This is more info on the state of the American male and what it might mean to you.

Be warned though. This is not for the faint of heart.

Suffice it to say that dating and mating over the next decade or two will not get any easier for you.

Go here if you dare.

Popularity: 9% [?]

This concludes from Maryanne’s Friday dating diamond. I hope you put to good use in your own dating!

I recommend you lead with what you are most afraid of; in this case, your age and that you’re moving through menopause, etc. When we embrace what we are afraid of the demon disappears, and anyway it’s what’s real—and this is real life, after all. You want a partner who shares this same reality. Plus you won’t have to worry about breaking the news later. How about something like this for an ad:
Fifty-something seeking real life partner for a trade. Must love camping, vigorous exercise, or have grown up in a big family. Patience would be a good quality to have, as well as the ability to delay gratification, saving the best for last—i.e., a calmer version of me post-menopause! In the meantime, must either play golf because it is among my favorite pastimes! You like movies, good food and wine, and love to laugh. In exchange, I am willing to love and respect your stage of life because I know that no matter what life has handed you, your spirit is intact, your kindness is king, and you are seeking a partnership rather than a pit stop as we face the next millennia . I look forward to learning more about you, your passions, and the journey and the peaceful, joy-filled adventure we will create together!

Good luck and like my dear friend Kris Carlson would say: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff!!

Popularity: 10% [?]

Maryanne Comaroto talks about dating past 50 and what it means to you.

Summary: Worried about dating later in life? Let’s embrace what is, re-frame some and look for the humor in all of it! For example, when we reach midlife most of us are wiser, more compassionate, better lovers, more tolerant, more available, and more confident, and so on.

I recommend you lead with what you are most afraid of; in this case, your age and that you’re moving through menopause, etc.
Article:

Q~ I’m a fifty-something, single, looking to get back out in the dating world. I am not thrilled with the idea of online dating but realize when it comes to the law of attraction, I need to get the ball rolling. The problem is, I am not feeling as marketable as I was in my thirties and forties, never mind my hormones are raging like a teenager—except now, instead of blooming, it seems I am about to lose my blossom. Any suggestions on how to attract a great mate?

A~ I can see the both dilemmas: how do you compete with your own shadow and attract a great partner when you don’t feel exactly on top of your game, and how can you be honest about who you are without focusing exclusively on the negative. This is indeed a delicate balancing act. You don’t want to do what so many of us have, and out-and-out lie or minimize some major themes in your life. Let’s start from a bigger picture: while you may be experiencing great discomfort as you pass through (and up and down and all around) menopause, it’s true that this is a phase, a transient time, just as each day is. Besides, we are so much more than any one aspect of what we experience in any given time, day, phase, moment. It’s a matter of where we focus our attention. I have heard from some experts that menopause can be one of the most magical, mystical times in a woman’s life. The other big-picture thing to realize is that there is nothing to be ashamed of as we traverse each crevice of the human experience, and you can bet your partner is try to fend off his share of the inevitable himself. Essentially we are all in the same boat, and none of us are getting out alive or unscathed!
So, let’s embrace what is, re-frame some and look for the humor in all of it! For example, when we reach midlife most of us are wiser, more compassionate, better lovers, more tolerant, more available, and more confident, and so on.

Popularity: 4% [?]