Conversations matter.

Are you having conversations with the people you care about it? Do you have time to make conversation? When you have a conversation, is it fulfilling? Is the conversation one sided? Do you consider yourself a good listener? Mind you, talking about the weather doesn’t count. Regaling your spouse with tales of work doesn’t count. Complaining doesn’t count. Negativity doesn’t count. I believe small talk is for small people.

So when’s the last time you had a heart to heart conversation where you listen to what your partner has to say?

I think good conversation is more art form than plan but there are ways to encourage it, to foster it and make it as satisfying as possible.

One way my folks did it was by having a regular date night. I remember my mom getting all gussied up for their big night. I also remember the babysitters being pretty boring!

Another way my parents fostered conversation was at the dinner table. Both my mom and dad insisted that our family sit down for dinner every single night. At the dinner table, I remember my parents talking to each other about each other’s day and actually listening to each other.  Yes, actually listening to each other! While they didn’t always like what the other had to say, it was obvious that they respected each other’s opinion. As kids we could pipe in to but we were never to interrupt or say negative things about anything.

Always be prepared to bring something to the table. Joe Kennedy, father of John F. Kennedy always insisted that his kids bring their thinking caps to the table. The Kennedy kids always brought their thoughts on the happenings of the day as it pertained to politics and world affairs. Can you imagine the level of conversation at that table? How do your conversations measure up?

An advanced technique I know of involves you and your significant other picking out a book or article and discussing the book before you go to bed. I know of a couple that does it in the bed! They read excerpts from popular self-help and self-development books to each other in bed. They then have a pleasant conversation about what was just read.

With the benefit of experience and time, I believe that my parents were bonded to each other better than most because they took the time to understand each other better through the art and discipline of conversation. It’s through their lessons and those of others that I to have learned and been bettered through good conversation.

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