What if you could turn back the clock? What if you could be in the very best shape of your life? What if you could recover three to four times faster from injury? What if all it took was a an injection or two of a naturally occurring hormone? Would you  take the injections even though scientists know little of what it will do to the human body, good or bad?

I’ve been fascinated lately watching the congressional hearings into alleged steroid abuse by Major League Baseball players. Just as much as any other guy, I have cheered my sports heroes on as they crushed record after record. During the record breaking year featuring Sammy Sosa and Mark Mcguire, I was privileged to have watched Sosa crush the ball a few times live at Wrigley Field. Neither Sosa nor Mcguire are accused of doing any thing illegal, but McGuire has admitted to using substances that are now banned by MLB. They are essentially free of any charges.

Roger Clemens may not be so lucky. It’s recently come to light that Roger Clemens, future Hall of Fame Major League Baseball player may have not only taken HGH but also lied about it in front of Congress. What’s even more astonishing is the allegation that Clemens wife was also injected with HGH in order to get in shape for her up coming Sports Illustrated photo shoot. If true, it’s not clear who insisted on the illegal injections. Did Clemens want it for his wife or did his wife insist on it in order to look her best for the SI photo shoot? I have yet to see the pictures but I’ve been told that she’s rather buff and in great shape.

The drugs allegedy abused include various steroids and a naturally ocurring hormone called Human Growth Hormone otherwise known as HGH. Very little is known outside of test tubes and lab mice as to what these drugs can do, good or bad. Either way, you can’t get them legally without a doctors permission. Clemens denies that he used any illegal drugs. His former trainer and friends are claiming otherwise.

I have a new proposal for Clemens, Congress and his accusers: How about you all lighten up! What you all need is a little injection of my special version HGH otherwise known as Humor Growth Hormone.

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